I'm Still Standing (because I have a freaking cyst on my spine)

Yeah. So. I wasn't going to blog about this because it's a big bummer. And because I don't want to bum YOU out and also because I try to avoid writing about non-writing and/or reading related topics unless I am writing about cleaning toilets or my Italian grandmother or college searches or cheesy french fries. 

But sometimes life intervenes in the form of a cyst on your spine, and it pretty much consumes your summer, and it's hard to think about anything else to write.

What happened was at the beginning of the summer, June 20th to be exact, two days before I embarked on my book tour, I woke up with "sciatic" leg pain and my foot went numb. The doctor pumped me up with steroids and pain meds and I had a grand old (yet hazy now) time in California parked out at the pool (on an ice pack) at the Beverly Hills Hilton, strolling around beaches (and getting pooped on--and get this, not being stressed about it. See: pain meds), meeting old friends and bonding with new ones, hugging my son, and doing numerous events that also seem a little hazy now in retrospect, and honestly, if I didn't have my tattoo, I might wonder if the trip actually happened.

I just checked and yes, the tattoo of a foot is presently on my foot so no worries. I am not a complete loony tunes.

I am also not on pain meds anymore. Most of the summer--since the CA trip--is all a nice big hazy memory too, and I discovered that I'd rather experience pain than laze around in La La Land. (although, La La Land is a Lovely Land to visit from time to time.)

It doesn't hurt as much when I stand. So I've been standing a lot. Standing, whilst waiting for different meds and treatments and physical therapy to work. And then I had an MRI and found out I had a cyst on my spine and was relieved. THIS problem could be surgically removed. YES!!

Except a few weeks ago I found out it couldn't.

The ten minute appointment I had with the neurosurgeon was surreal.

I don't want to knock this guy. Okay, I do want to knock this guy. While I was standing, he was sitting, rocking back and forth in his rockable comfortable-looking chair. He had his hands behind his head all relaxed looking as he told me that he couldn't do surgery and he wasn't sure what I should do next and maybe the cyst would go away on its own and blah di blah, and I almost started crying, but thank God I remembered this bit from Louis CK and tried to laugh instead.

If you don't know who Louis CK is, he is a brilliant, hilarious, raunchy comedian. See here (and don't be offended) as he has his own run-in with an unsympathetic *%& doctor:

Anyway, the good news is that I am going to get a second opinion before I embrace my new life as a Stander in a world of happy-looking Sitters.

Stay tuned...