It takes a while to get your bearings. To find your way. Each time you walk out the front door, you have to think: How do I get where I want to go?
A map helps. Where is the post office? The hair salon? The nearest grocery store? But a map can only take you so far. You may have to... gulp... introduce yourself to the next door neighbors. Ask strangers how the carpool line works at your kid's school. Who sells the best pizza. What night do we roll out the garbage bins.
You knew all that in your old town. Ten years there and you had it all figured out. The short cuts to take during rush hour. The gas station where gas was 3 cents cheaper. The best park to hang out on Sunday afternoon with the kids. You were on auto-pilot in that place and it was nice.
Ah well. You know you'll figure it out in this new town too. As someone who's moved before, you know that leaving one world behind to settle in another, can be scary. But you can do it.
Anyway, it's not like you have a choice. Moves happen. You purposely seek a new place out. Or it seeks you out. Whether you see it coming or not, one day you may find yourself standing in your living room surrounded by moving boxes.
Just yesterday the carpet was covered with toys.
You were forever stepping on legos. Scooping up wooden blocks. Peering under the couch for microscopic polly pocket fashion accessories.
Your life was a baby crying in the middle of the night. Formula bottles and jars of mushy carrots. Diaper changes and pullups and potty accidents. Cartoons and sippy cups of chocolate milk. Endless chatter and tantrums and WHY WHY WHY.
Confession: sometimes you locked yourself in the bathroom to escape the whining and the noodle-y-os and the spit-up and the chewed up binkies. You dreamed of the day when you could stroll out of the house without a two ton diaper bag and a baby carrier.
But then you'd rally. Open the bathroom door and the day would go on. Scooby Doo and bath-times and story-times turned into homework and field trip forms and piano lessons. Carpools to soccer practices morphed into carpools to middle school dances.
Sleepovers. Birthday parties. Blaring music and screeching kids in the backseat of the mini van. Summer camp. College trips--
Until suddenly everything stopped.
The house wasn't for sale. But you realized you've moved. Everything is different in this place. You can't get your bearings. There is no map.
You wander around the quiet and stunningly clean rooms, not sure where you want to go, hoping you will find your way.
I cannot even. I'm now crying and terrified of my babies growing up and leaving me. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteAw Nat, you've got time <3
DeleteGeez! Thanks. I was doing so well until now............. (but I still have one at home to keep the house messy...make that two. Michael is still there)
ReplyDeleteYour nest is full, Stephanie :)
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