I am visiting my brother for the week,
and this morning as my niece and nephew head off to school and my brother heads off to work, I prepare to make coffee in his lovely newly renovated kitchen... and find, to my horror, that while my brother owns many small appliances, including a Crème brûlée maker and not one, but two juicers, he does not own a coffee maker.
On the plus side, there are approximately 543 Dunkin' Donuts in the area, and before my brother leaves for work, he throws me a set of car keys.
These do not look like any car keys I have ever seen. As in, they do not include keys.
I go out into his massive three car garage and sit inside a massive red car with the keys on my lap, knowing that I am supposed to push a button?
I push many buttons. Nothing happens. I consider going back into the house. But, no. I need coffee. I can figure this out!
I push more buttons. I wave the key-less key around. Nothing.
I call my husband. I send him multiple pictures of the steering wheel and dashboard. He offers advice. None of which works. But, one clue. I thought you said the car is a Range Rover, my husband texts me.
Well, the picture you sent me shows Ford Explorer written on the steering wheel.
I sit inside it. I push buttons. Nothing happens. I text my husband. I send him more pictures of the steering wheel and the dashboard. He offers helpful advice. None of which works. I text Natalie, my critique partner, mostly to joke to her that I am an idiot sitting inside a car with no idea how to start it. Also, I NEED MY COFFEE!!
Natalie sends me a youtube video entitled "How to Use the Land Rover Ranger Rover Keyless Engine Start."
I watch the video three times.
And wah lah! The car starts!
Now, all I have to do is figure out how to turn on the windshield wipers.
(*note how many doofballs had to watch this video.)